Recently, I was accused of a few things.. I have harbored my anger, and I am going to express it the one way I know best: by writing.
To start off, let me explain to you what I was accused of. I was accused of hating God, being a drunk, being a partier, and having a reputation--meaning that I have a lot of boyfriends.
So let's explore those things, shall we?
I am not sure what the definition of a partier is. I can count on one hand the number of times that I went to an underage party in high school; it really wasn't my thing and I really didn't enjoy it and that is a lot less than others my age. After turning 21, I went through the "typical" drinking stage. I did that for about 2 months, then realized it was expensive and I disliked it. Mind you, I am 25 now, so if I want a drink, I am allowed one. I don't go out often now, because when I do go out, I go out to get drunk, because otherwise it's a waste of money. And even then, I usually regret it the next day. I'd rather stay at home, in my pajamas, having a glass of wine. And if that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
My reputation is something that baffles my mind. Before the current significant other, I was with a guy for 4 months total, and before that I was with a guy for 2.5 years.. So really, for the past 3 years, I haven't really had boyfriends. Have I dated? HELL YEAH! I was a single, young person. Again, if that is wrong, I don't want to be right. I believe that every person has the right to go out on dates as often as they see fit. Who is anyone to judge?
The last part really gets me. I am being accused of these things by "Christians." I am putting that in quotes because these are people that state constantly that they don't care where people come from, they only care where they are going--meaning heaven. Let me get one thing straight.. If YOUR God, is as judgmental as you are, I don't want to believe in Him. So while I don't believe in YOUR God, I do believe in my own. One who is kind, does things for others, stands up for what they believe in, and does NOT judge others for the choices that they make in their lives. If that's not your God, then count me out. If that means I won't be in Heaven, then so be it; I don't want to be surrounded for the rest of eternity by people who can't accept others for who they are and for the choices they make.
While I have been angry about this, I am going to do my own thing and forgive. You don't know me. You don't know me life. Do not throw stones when you live in a glass house. Instead of judging my life and my choices, maybe take a look at your own inner circle before you start throwing rocks my way.
I am a kind person. I go above and beyond for others. I would give the shirt off my back, even to my most hated enemy. I donate my time and my money to certain causes. I am an ear to anyone who needs it. I stand up for what I believe in. If you can't accept me for who I am, do not judge my life, do not talk bad about me, and do not pretend to care how I am (because you really don't care--nor would I want you to).
While I could sit here and just bash every little thing that has been done, I am going to go another route. The other day, I was in an argument with my significant other, and instead of just being angry all night, I pulled out my bible and looked up verses to send him. And that's what I felt compelled to do tonight; coincidentally, it is the same bible I received from the people talking poorly about myself.
I decided to flip to the end to the concordances and look up the word "hate". Immediately I found a verse that spoke to me. It is Leviticus 19:17 and it reads "You shall not hate your brother in your heart. You shall surely rebuke your neighbor, and not bear sin because of him." The following verse continues with saying that "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord".
Not only does that verse speak to me about those speaking poorly about myself, but it also spoke to me personally. While they should not hate me in their heart, and they should not disapprove or criticize me because of my behavior or my actions and they should not commit sin because of me, the verse also tells me that I shouldn't bear a grudge against them and should love them as I love myself.
My bible does this cool thing where it explains all the verses a bit more. This verse was then said that hating your brother in your heart was addressed by Jesus in a sermon on the mount, which was in Matthew 5:21-24. This verse states, " You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.' But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Raca!' shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, 'You fool!' shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift."
While I am sure that there are many ways to interrupt the bible, I took that verse as saying that if you judge a person without just cause, you are in danger of your own judgment day. Instead, you should goo, make amends, and come back. I believe there is a popular saying that goes along with this verse: Only God can judge me.
While I don't ever expect anyone to understand and agree with my life choices 100%, I do expect others to respect me enough to allow me to make whatever choice I see fit, and not talk poorly about me, my character or my choices and the outcomes of them. And if people continue to do so, I have no problem no longer associating myself with people like that. I do not judge, so I do not want judged back.
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